Grandiose et unique

I know it's been a long time since yesterday, and I know you miss me already. You know I miss you too, but I also know that you told me to stop hoping ... and it's really hard for me not to hope when I see you, when I see your smile. And even if I would have been there, I still couldn't see you, because when I do, I get filled with hope , and honestly, I'm trying to kill this bitch, before she kills me. This probably doesn't make any sense to you, but it doesn't matter, I already know that I never made any sense to you either. You are complicated, and believe me or not I absolutely respect that. Complicated leads to great satisfaction, because complicated implies effort to get what you want. The greater the effort, the greater the satisfaction.
I gave up, or at least I think I did. Maybe writing these words to you means that I'm still trying. I don't really know what to believe.

You make me feel insecure when you want me around. And it kind of bothers me, because that's all you want, me being around you. You won't open the doors of your soul, you won't let me explore this land. This makes me think that you are insecure too. You won't allow this things to me because you are afraid that I may destroy the last drops of trust you still have.
I may say a million times I won't, but I start to believe that I may not be able to keep my promise, which makes me sad. But in the same time makes me respect you even more. I always apreciated everything that is unique.
I know one day you will find the power and trust to open up those gates, for someone that is dedicated to stay. And don't get it wrong, that is not going to make you less unique, because your open up will be grandiose.